:-( <I want my, "Guy" BFF, back!> :-(

[Gina]

Well, I said "Goodbye" and gave my "Guy" Best Friend a hug last night.
He left on a plane, out of this god aweful, blood/money/energy sucking,
state of California at 5:30am this morning, for Pennsylvania, for good.
I don't blame him, not one single bit, either.

He was here when Luke and I got together, when I left Luke's ass fed-
up with his set ways and bullshit attitude, during my pregnancy, up
until now. He ran across the street at a moments notice, whenever I
text'd him that Luke was being stupid, idiotic, on his King Luke
pedestal, being irrational, immature, selfish or just plain lazy and
not thinking I deserved much more help than a diaper change or a
walk to the fridge for a bottle and pop it in and walk away and leave
for a few hours, when I was pulling my hair out from lack of sleep,
fasting due to no time, running a marathon at Angi's every whim and
putting all of my needs and wants on the back burner for another
decade.
He lectured Luke about his responsibilities and more. Now,
he's gone and the only time I'll see his cute, kind, caring and
loving face, is if I ever get a big enough wad of money to buy a
plane ticket, but if I were to do so, I probably wouldn't come back.
So, I guess it's safe to say that, if a ticket were bought, it would
be a one-way ticket.

I told him, "Don't mind me, I'm not good with, "Goodbye's" and all
that. That, it would probably kick-in and I'll react with bawling my
head off, uncontrollably, by Friday.
I guess with my body changing physically, mentally, emotionally
in my old age, My reaction time has decreased, immensely?

I'm missing him already!! Just the slap of his vacating my space is
giving me the feeling of sprinting to my celli and texting him that I
need him to get his ass over here to just kick it and shoot the shit,
but he's almost there, as I sit here moping, crying, bitching and
complaining.
ROFCMAO

So, to sum my morning up, feelings and state of mind and all that
good stuff, I am sad, depressed, feeling like I'm gonna lose it one
of these days and Chris isn't gonna be there to help me put my
pieces back together and remind me, that I'm still, Gina, the
independant individual, first and foremost, and then, daughter,
grand-daughter, friend, mama, girlfriend, etc., and so on. He would
tell me in a stressful time that, "You really need to go stay with
your mama overnight." Yeah, except, when Luke hears that I want
to go stay with my mom & dad overnight, he'd more than likely say,
"Why you wanna stay the night with your mom? So, you can bag,
rag and talk shit on me?" You gotta love it, ya know?

But, don't y'all mind me, I'm just one wild, crazy, California born and
raised girl, who knows right from wrong only too well, and will fight
for what I want, desire and deserve. That is, til it's a pointless race,
straight to insanity, despair and turns a strong-willed, knows exactly
what she wants, over-achiever into a shy lil' girl who would rather
just take the detour of avoiding any conflict and drama.

Okay, you can all take a long deep, cleansing breath and wipe your
foreheads going, "WHEW, Thank God, she's finally shut the fuck-up!!"
LOL
I promise, I'm done, now, I won't bore or depress you, any longer by
bringing it up again, either, for your own safety/sanity.
(Just, as usual, looking out for others' best interest's at heart instead
of mine, except I already unloaded and dished out my shit!!!)
ROFLACMAO :-)