Big Sigh!!

[Gina]

Now, I'm pretty much feeling alone, lonely, guilty(as if I were the one who started the drama in that group, today), like I'm being talked shit on to a new level of high, like I have nothing to do in my free time, bored and feeling like I should've just kept my technically/detailed mouth to mind to keyboard shut and let it roll off my back with ease and let it be forgotten and forgiven, whether it deserves it or warrants forgiveness, ya know? Just a bunch of millions of feelings, I wish would just go the hell away!!!
Am I crazy or what, you tell me, honestly, with a kind regard though, okay? No, babysitting or sugar-coating, just in a constructive kind of way, okay?
Thanks,
Gina

[Sarah]

I think it is a really valuable tool, the ability to let shit roll off of your back, but it isn't practical all the time.

Honestly, if the group made you feel that stressed out, I would be breathing a HUGE SIGH of relief after unsubscribing. No group is worth that. Don't let them bother you, you have your own life with it's own ups and downs to deal with, don't take more on that you don't HAVE to take on.

[Gina]

Thank You for that reminder and your reassurance!! :-)
Now, I know I'm not crazy, but damn! I hate it when others cannot admit their faults or false information and accusations, ya know? It leaves me asking myself, "Well, maybe I am wrong, uhm, let me research that or find fault within myself and my reaction." Aggravating as hell!! LOL

[Maureen]

I don't know anything at all about what you're talking about - don't know the group, the drama, what the group is even all about...

Your feelings at leaving the group, though, are all too familiar to me, having been in the same situation many times before on various (mostly stepparenting related) message boards over time. The drama always comes. Always.

And, you're left walking away, knowing that it's the right thing to do, but also knowing the people that you're leaving behind, what they're like, what they're saying about you (because you've been there before when someone else left in the same drama on a different day).

Just know that they are going to continue on, probably justifying themselves & their actions/words, because, well, we all need to do that to get on with our lives. And, maybe, one or two of them, right now, are thinking badly of another for overreacting to the drama, too. But trying to justify it because they need friends (we all do) and, well, their friend is human & makes mistakes, sometimes. And, maybe the person who was in the wrong, too, has a little voice in the back of their head, telling them "Hey, wtf are you doing?", which they're drowning out by laughing or continuing to harangue. Because they have to, to continue on believing in themselves & believing themselves to be right.

It sucks to be fragile & human sometimes. For all of us.

[Gina]

You know, I know you're right, in fact, I have to keep reminding myself this kind of stuff and reasoning all the time. The sad part is, I am such a high achiever, optimistic, and loving, caring and helpful in any ways I possibly can, on a day to day basis throughout my entire life and I still manage to have these feelings even when I was wronged because I find it difficult to find a person who is truthful to me, respects me, cares and loves me, for me, who I am, what I stand for and my beliefs, as they are. I have, however, found alot of fair weathered friends who always had an agenda or purpose for their inviting me to be their friend, to use me for something I possess or can access for them to benefit from in some way, shape or form.
I still haven't learned to just let it be, that they aren't worth the worry or feelings of emptiness, ya know? 41 years old and been through more than most for my age in my lifetime and still haven't been able to build that shield and project it when shit on or stabbed in the back, also, it's hard for me, when the person doesn't verbally apologize for being wrong and admit I was correct cuz then, I start to ask myself, was I correct or incorrect and it can go farther into brainwashing myself to think I was incorrect in order to have a friend, knowing full well it would be misleading myself and leading me into a future bout yet again and for the wrong reasons altogether.
Sad, how I haven't been able to shield myself like others by now at my age, ya know?
It makes me feel like less of a person for being so smart in other areas in life and subjects, but not in the early childhood basics area, such as this, ya know?